Big Sev, Little Sev
by notnowmaybelater
Summary: There's a new kid at Hogwarts. Called, er, Severus Snape. Should have been more careful with that fountain of youth potion, Prof... Now with added challenge.
1. The Potions Lesson

BIG SEV, LITTLE SEV: THE POTIONS LESSON  
  
"It was going to happen during teaching hours sooner or later, Severus..." Dumbledore's tone was grave, but his eyes twinkled as he spoke. "I only hope you'll be able to find an antidote for your potion soon."  
  
Severus hoped so too -- however the antidote wouldn't come soon enough for the second-year Potions class he was supposed to be teaching in five minutes. He could already feel his body becoming smaller and lighter. By the time the class was due to start, he'd look exactly the same age as the students he was supposed to be teaching!  
  
"Don't worry," said Dumbledore. "We'll find someone else to take potions today..."  
  
Silently, Severus cursed his own stupidity -- how could he, the Potions master, have made the kind of basic mistake that he berated the likes of Longbottom for in class? Actually, he knew perfectly well how it had happened -- he'd been distracted by that irritating new teacher trying to force a signed copy of his autobiography on him and Severus had mixed up his ingredients. While he was trying to ignore the idiot blathering on his favourite hair-care potions, Severus had accidentally added a thimbleful of water from the Fountain of Youth instead of the Font of all Wisdom. In that instant, his study-aid draft had become some kind of turn-into-a-kid-when-you-least-expect-it potion. And the worst of it was he hadn't managed to find an antidote for it yet.  
  
"Did you say you needed someone to teach Potions?"  
  
Severus and Dumbledore looked round to see who had spoken. Severus gritted his teeth. Standing in the doorway was the teacher he held entirely to blame for his current problem -- Gilderoy Lockhart. Lockhart flashed a toothy grin at them both as he swept into the staffroom in his cerise robes. "I'd be happy to share my potion-brewing expertise with your students," said Lockhart. "In fact, why don't you sit in on the lesson, Severus? You never know what you might learn!"  
  
"That's very kind of you, Gilderoy," said Dumbledore. "The class is waiting for you now. I daresay Professor Snape will try to look in during the lesson."  
  
"Too right, I will," muttered Severus, as Lockhart fluttered out of the staffroom.  
  
"You will?" said Dumbledore. He sounded a little surprised.   
  
But Severus was already rummaging through the robes hanging up in the staff cloakroom. "There's got to be something that will fit -- aha! Got it!"  
  
Seconds later, a younger version of Severus Snape left the staffroom and ran down the corridor towards the dungeon where the Potions class was about to begin.  
  
+++  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione were setting up their cauldrons when the kid rushed into the classroom and took his place with the Slytherins.  
  
"Hey, who's that kid?" whispered Ron. "I've never seen him before. Doesn't he look like Snape!"  
  
The other two looked and their mouths fell open. "He really does!" said Harry. "Look, he's even forgotten to wash his hair."  
  
"Maybe they're related or something," said Hermione. "Anyway, shh! Professor Lockhart's about to speak!"  
  
+++  
  
Grimly, Severus began setting up his cauldron and the rest of his Potions equipment. Even if he was unable to teach today, he wanted to be around to make sure Lockhart didn't make a hash of his Potions class the way he did with Defence Against the Dark Arts. Severus prided himself that, in Potions, the students actually learned something that might be useful to them, rather than having their heads filled with Lockhart's half-baked ramblings about hags and vampires.  
  
From the adjacent table, Draco Malfoy and his slow-witted cronies were staring at him with unmasked curiousity. Little snot, thought Severus, pretending not to notice. In spite of what his students might imagine, Malfoy was far from being one of his favourites. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that he needed to keep Lucius Malfoy sweet... Severus tightened his fist around the glass beaker he was holding.  
  
+++  
  
At the front of the class, Lockhart rapped a lead spoon against his cauldron. "Can I have eveyone's attention, please!" he began. "Professor Snape was most anxious for me to take you for this Potions lesson. He realises that my expertise in this area is second to none and, in fact, I was able to instruct him in a few brewing techniques that had previously escaped his notice --" Lockhart stopped as shards of glass showered the Slytherin tables. "Goodness, young fellow!" exclaimed Lockhart, hurrying over to Severus who was looking in surprise at his bloody hand. "Are you hurt? Let me take a look!"  
  
"It's nothing," Severus said irritably. "Get on with the class." Then he rememered that he was incognito as a twelve-year-old and added, "...sir."  
  
An impressed silence fell on both the Gryffindor and the Slytherin sides of the room. Severus realised that his first act as the new kid had been to cheek Lockhart. Malfoy and his cronies looked as though they were trying not to laugh. Granger was actually smiling, but, knowing her, it was probably because she also wanted to get on with the lesson. Even Potter and Weasley were staring with frank admiration. _Oh, no,_ thought Severus, as the awful truth hit home. _They all think I'm cool._  
  
Lockhart examined the cut doubtfully. "Perhaps, if I..."  
Severus snatched his hand away as soon as Lockhart reached for his wand. Knowing that buffoon, he'd probably "cure" him by charming every drop of blood out of his body. "Maybe I should go and see the nurse," Severus admitted.  
  
"Yes, perhaps you should," agreed Lockhart, with an embarrassed glance in the direction of Potter's table. "Perhaps Miss Granger will take you. I'm sure she's as outstanding in this class as she is in mine, so it won't matter if she misses a few minutes."   
  
Severus was disgusted to see that the pushy Granger was actually blushing at Lockhart's praise as she stepped forward to lead him to the nurse's office. He'd realised from teaching her that she was always desperate for recognition, letting the lazier kids sit back and take it easy. Not in my class, Severus thought. In Potions, he wanted to see everyone paying attention, everyone learning -- otherwise, they'd be sorry! But he couldn't help feeling a little disappointed in Granger, to see her value Lockhart's flattery so highly. He'd credited her with more sense than that.  
  
"There's no need," he mumbled. "I'll find the nurse's office by myself."  
  
"It's OK," said Granger, taking his arm bossily as she led him out of the class. "This place can be confusing especially if you're new. Anyway, I'm Hermione Granger. What's your name?"  
  
Severus glared at her. "I am Prof- er, I mean. My name's Severus... Snape."  
  
"Hah! I knew it!" Granger clapped her hands in delight. "You are related to Professor Snape! What are you, his son?"  
  
"Er, yes," agreed Severus miserably, wishing he'd had the presence of mind to lie about his name. Being twelve was making him feel flustered and easily embarrassed, just like it had done first time round.  
  
"So how come you weren't here in the first year?" asked Granger.  
  
Of all the people he could have been stuck with-- Granger! Mentally Severus checked off another grudge against Lockhart. Of course, his more rational self pointed out, Lockhart doesn't even know why he had to take over teaching Potions today. Never mind about that, his emotional self snapped back. The man's an idiot.  
  
"Well?" insisted Granger. Severus sighed. Granger wasn't the type to give up, was she? He felt a grudging admiration for her tenacity. She'd go far in life, that one!  
  
"...er, I was ill?" The way he said it, it sounded more like a question than a statement, but Granger seemed satisfied with the answer.  
  
"It's a good school," she said. "The teachers are really good and, er, most of them are pretty nice too." Severus noticed she glanced at him guiltily when she said that. "Anyway," she continued, "if you like sport, you should come and watch Quidditch practice tonight. After school. I'm going, so, um, maybe I'll see you there..." She's become more and more breathless during her speech. Her face was a little pink and she kept flicking shy little looks in his directions as she spoke.  
  
I don't believe it thought Severus. Granger's actually asking me out. No, not me, he corrected himself. She's asking the twelve-year-old me. What was he supposed to say? When he'd been twelve the first time round, no girl would have given him a second look. He'd been the shy, greasy-looking kid they'd steered well clear of. Luckily, they'd just reached the nurse's office. Not a minute too soon, Severus realised. He sensed he was about to change back from twelve-year-old Severus into the adult Professor Snape. Not a secret he wanted to share with Miss Granger or any of her friends.  
  
"Well, thanks," he said quickly as he ducked into Madame Pomfrey's office. "I'll, er, see you around, I guess." He closed the door in Granger's surprised face. That was close.  
  
The office was empty. On the back of a chair, someone had left a set of robes for him. Severus smiled. Dumbledore still managed to amaze him at times. He wondered how long Dumbledore would tolerate him having to skip lessons. He had to find an antidote for the potion -- if only to ensure that idiot Lockhart wasn't given the run of his class.  
  
But even when he found the antidote, he'd still have to live with a disturbing new insight. He'd have to teach Potions every day knowing that the twelve-year-old version of himself thought Hermione Granger was pretty amazing.  
  
________________________  
  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to JK Rowling. 


	2. The Latecomers' Sorting Ceremony

THE LATECOMERS' SORTING CEREMONY  
  
He hadn't managed to find an antidote for his "fountain of youth" potion but for a while Severus began to think that maybe he wouldn't need to worry about it. It had been several weeks since he'd attended his own potions class as a student, and in all that time he'd suffered no futher attacks of unwanted youthfulness.  
  
It was particularly lucky, he thought, that he hadn't transformed into twelve year old Snape on the evening after that particular Potions class. Had he done so, he might well have been tempted to take Granger up on her suggestion that they go and watch the Quidditch practice. Knowing how impressionable his younger self could be, Severus thought he would probably have got caught up in the excitement of the game and ended up cheering for Gryffindor. Cheering for Potter.  
  
In spite of the golden sunshine of an Autumn noon which was streaming through the corridor, Severus shivered at that thought. But it hadn't happened, fortunately. The potion, it seemed, had run its course and his life had fallen back into the familiar, predictable patterns he preferred. He'd just taken the fifth year Hufflepuffs for Potions and now he was on his way to the Great Hall for a spot of lunch.  
  
He was so hungry, at first he failed to notice the telltale tingling in his hands and feet that warned him the potion was about to take effect once more. By the time he'd raced back to the staffroom to change into the smaller robes he kept there, he was almost tripping over his adult robes.  
  
Whatever age he was, he was determined to have his lunch, so, once dressed, he hurried back to the Great Hall. As he turned the corridor, his way was blocked by something purple and violet scented.  
  
"Ah, young Severus! You're just in time for my little Sorting Ceremony," said Lockhart, beaming down at him as he fussily straightened his puce robes. "I don't believe anyone's ever made it to the second year without being sorted before. You must tell me how you managed that..."  
  
No I mustn't, thought Severus feeling something close to panic. He hid it though, raising his eyebrows skeptically. "Sorting Ceremony? But that was weeks --"  
  
Lockhart waved his hand dismissively and steered Severus to the end of a queue, consisting of a handful of harrassed-looking first-years. "Yes, of course the main Sorting Ceremony was at the start of term," he said, "But almost every year there are one or two students who aren't able to arrive in time for the start of term. Normally, they're just sorted quietly, without much fuss. But I suggested to Dumbledore that it might be fun to make an event of it. Of course, he quite agreed with me!"  
  
Severus sighed. Dumbledore gave this man entirely too much freedom in his opinion.  
  
"Your hair's looking a little... lank, young Severus." Lockhart regarded him thoughtfully. "Isn't it funny how standards of personal hygiene tend to run in families? Is that nature or nurture, I wonder?"  
  
"I like it like this," grumbled Severus, making a mental note of the "personal hygiene" quip, but Lockhart wasn't listening.  
  
"Fortunately," Lockhart continued, "I've been working on a range of hair care potions and I believe I have just the thing!" He rummaged in his bag. "Ah, here it is! I hope to market them eventually, but you're very lucky, young Severus, because you'll be able to try out this prototype free of charge."  
  
Before Severus could dodge out of the way, Professor Lockhart slathered the potion into Severus's hair with one hand and pressed the potion bottle on him with the other. "Here, you'll want to keep this," he told Severus cheerfully. "Use it every morning to keep your style in tip-top condition."  
  
Severus cringed as he looked at the bottle. Professor Lockhart hadn't only been working on creating the potion, he'd also designed a brand image for the product -- from the lilac-coloured label a picture of Professor Lockhart flashed a cheesy grin.  
  
"Er... thanks," he said, not sounding very convinced. As Professor Lockhart swept off to offer impromptu image consultations to other Sorting Hat candidates, Severus put a cautious hand to his potion-treated hair. Instead of its usual easy-to-manage waxy texture, he found his hair was as fluffy and bouffant as Lockhart's. He could only hope the potion hadn't done anything to the colour.  
  
He'd resigned himself the public humiliation of Lockhart's Sorting Ceremony, when he heard a shout from across the hall.  
  
"Hey, it's little Sev!" exclaimed Ron Weasley. The trio raced over to where he was standing in the queue for the sorting hat.  
  
"Where have you been?" Weasley asked him. "We haven't seen you in ages!"  
  
"Not since Professor Lockhart took us for potions lesson," said Potter. "And that was weeks ago! Eurgh! I mean... what happened to your hair?"  
  
"Professor Lockhart was wondering why you hadn't shown up to any of his Defence against the Dark Arts classes," added Granger, a little reproachfully.  
  
"I don't have to explain myself to that fool," snapped Severus, trying, unsuccessfully, to flatten his hair. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew he'd made a mistake.  
  
"Cool," said Potter and Weasley in unison.  
  
Granger's expression was a mixture of disapproval and amusement. She pursed her lips and looked away. Severus felt as embarrassed about her disapproval as he'd have done when he was twelve first time around. To make matters worse, one of the first years ahead of him in the queue was listening with unashamed interest to their conversation. Severus felt a blush explode across his face. Pull yourself together, he told himself harshly. You're not really a child, whatever you may look like!  
  
What better way of reminding himself who he really was than taking his mood out on Potter and Weasley. He glared at them both. "I am NOT cool," he told them coldly. "And aren't you supposed to be having lunch?" He brushed a fluffy lock of hair out of his eyes and turned away. He should have known the remark would backfire on him.  
  
"That's what's so cool about him," he heard Weasley telling the others as they make their way back out towards the Gryffindor table. "He doesn't do it to be cool."  
  
Severus had long had his suspicions about the Sorting Hat. His theory was that it just chose what you wanted for yourself. If you came to it knowing you wanted to be in a certain house, it wasn't going to disappoint you. It was only when you didn't know anything about the house system at Hogwarts, that the Hat probed deeper in to your mind, using your thoughts to sort you into the house where you'd find it easiest to fit in and make friends.  
  
_Slytherin, eh?_ mused the Hat when it was placed on his head.  
  
_Yes,_ Severus thought firmly. He clenched his fists. _Slytherin._  
  
The Hat, it seemed, wasn't entirely convinced. _Now, why's that I wonder? That's not what you really want, is it? It's not as if you have any friends in there already. No family expectations to live up to. No, my friend, we both know you'd really be much happier in..._  
  
"GRYFFINDOR!!!"  
  
A loud cheer rose up from the Gryffindor table. "Hurrah! We've got little Sev!"  
  
Severus scowled across at everyone sitting at the red-festooned table. Amongst the crowd, he could see Potter, Weasley and Granger, all grinning and waving madly. For a moment he hesitated, wondering whether or not he should join them. Perhaps it was just that he was hungry, but for a split second he really thought he wanted to join them. Then a familiar tingling in his hands and feet reminded him what he had to do. He turned and fled.  
  
Back in the safety of the staff room, dressed in his own robes, Severus went to the mirror to see what kind of atrocity the idiotic Lockhart had wrought on his hair. It was still dark, thank goodness, even if it was distressingly fluffy. He tried to smooth it down but only succeeded in defining the wavy texture even more. But there was worse to come. As he stepped away from the mirror, his hair caught the light from the staffroom window. Severus grimaced, wondering how long it would be before he finally snapped and changed a certain fellow member of staff into a flobberworm. A lilac flobberworm, he thought viciously as he contemplated his hair. There was definitely a hint of chestnut in the colour.  
  
+++++++++  
  
A/N and Challenge: I wrote the first Big Sev, Little Sev story last year when I was trying to think of a sitcom format set in the Harry Potter universe (don't ask!) I wasn't planning to take the idea any further, but a couple of people said they'd like to see more, so this is for you g ... Now here's the challenge -- to write your own episode of this "sitcom".  
  
Happy writing! 


End file.
